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Totlpig's Pigsty

OINK!

A little more information about Totlpig...

What I'm into...

and read between the lines here... TOS prevents too much detail.

"NORMAL" ACTIVITIES:
-- Kissing: That's what starts the juices flowing! Yeah, love to make out.
--JO: Great for a break and love to make out and swap strokes, but for the most part, I think if were together, we could spend the time more effectively.
--Oral: I'm very happy with a full mouth, and nothing beats someone who knows what they're doing!.
--Anal: Definitely!! Though see the first item under fetishes for an important detail.
--Rimming: Ive been told that I do this better than anyone else - I cant speak from experience, only what Ive been told. I simply think love doing it so much that I put that extra effort into it.
FETISHES:
--Bareback: ONLY! No condoms - no exceptions... unless you've filled it and kept it until we could hook up. This is not up for debate!
--Bondage: If I trust someone, yes.
--CBT: I'm exploring this. In the past, pain was the one big thing I was NOT into... however I've had a few close buddies unlock that door and start discovering the pleasure involved. So, for now - it depends on the chemistry.
--Cigars: YES. Smoking and tobacco in general (including Dip/chew) is a big turn on for me.
--FF: Novice... another thing I've been working on. Its definitely something I enjoy. I can't guarantee I'll be able to take you, but Im more than willing to let a guy give it a go. I'm also being trained as a Top, and apparently I'm a quick learner.
--Groups: Hell yes.
--S&M: See CBT.
--Scat: Yes. Depends on chemistry though, it's not for everyone!
--Semen: Put it this way... it will NOT go to waste!
--Shaving: No. Not turned off by a guy whos shaved - I prefer natural.... however if you are Naturally smooth, that's fine!
--Spit: Mouth open and waiting!
--TT: See CBT again.
--Toys/assplay: Its fine, but Id much prefer the real thing... though partying sometimes leaves this as the only choice.
--Watersports: Yep! Im not the best at drinking if it's too strong, but always into golden showers and piss enemas.
--ETC: VERY few limits with this pig - Im into nearly every scene from vanilla to hardcore raunch. There's more to my personal list, but this is a good start... if ya want to know if I'm into it, eMail and ASK!

MY TYPE OF GUY:

I honestly don't really have a type.... seriously. Sure, there are guys who turn my head more than others - and there are guys who just aren't attractive, but when it comes down to it, I'm far more interested in our chemistry. I've had amazingly hot times and been totally into guys that many of my buddies would have passed up because they didn't fit the "image" - their loss. From the Boy-next-door to Daddies. Skinny punks to Bears.

That said, there are a few things that seem to come up again and again in guys who've rocked my world...
FOREIGNERS: I don't know why, but some of my hottest connections have been with non-American guys - esp. Europeans. I think more than anything, it's because they have fewer inhibitions.
HAIR: It's a plus. I have nothing against guys who are naturally smooth, but hairy men get my attention.
UNCUT: A major plus. Of course I like cut ones too and that isn't a negative, but uncut is a definite perk.
SMOKERS: It's a big fetish for me, what can I say - but there are elements that make it more or less erotic. For instance - certain brands ie. Marlboro Reds, Luckies or Camel are a turn on -- Lights, Menthol, generic are not. Also - style plays a big part in this - whether it's cigs or gars... it shows if a guy isn't comfortable with smoking, is a sometime smoker and not used to handling it.

NOT INTO:
These are generalizations - there are always exceptions...
BLACK/ASIAN: This is just my experience. I've played with both - but it usually doesn't really work out or they've been complete freaks. Not to say I wouldn't consider it, but there would have to be some serious chemistry!
SHAVING: I hate the feel of stubble on ass cheeks or chest. And I don't care how recently you shaved, I can tell.
DEODORANT: Nothing worse than going into a guys pit, licking it and getting that taste on your tongue!

(no doubt this section will be revised from time to time)

RamblingHTML

~ I’ve launched ramblings for two reasons ~

ONE: It’s a way for you to learn a more about me, which is really what the STY is all about, but this area is likely to touch on a lot more than the rest... where I come from, what I’m thinking, IF I’m thinking.
TWO: Pass on some usefull information that I’ve picked up along the way, maybe spark some new ideas. Generally stir things up.

Believe it or not, I’m more than just a sleazy pig, I’m also a freelance writer and I’ve been told I’m not entirely awful at it, so from time to time I’ll post an essay about whatever moves me at the time, or I’ll give whatever new and exciting or entertaining info I have to pass on to whoever’s out there. Hell, if you’ve made it this far, we have to share at least a few things in common.

I’ll also be setting up an archive (which I should be able to manage fairly easily - I hope) so that they’ll remain accessible even after I’ve posted a new one... maybe just as a .txt file or something - without all the bells and whistles of wicked HTML.

So without further adeiu here’s the first of my

BarebackHTML

my barebacking background...
There are a lot of theories about what started the Condom-free movement. The most common, and the theory I tend to side with, boils down to simple teen rebellion. I went through high school during the 80’s and we had Safe Sex drilled into us again and again. Sex didn’t exist without a condom... especially gay sex. It’s extremely frustrating to finally discover what moves you, only to learn one move could kill you. Then you heard stories about how it was ten years ago. The orgies, the bath-houses, drugs, fun, freedom! And we’re stuck jerking off into a condom. Young gay men just starting to come out during the epidemic’s peak felt left out. We would never know what it was like to fuck without latex between us and our partner. Never.
Our invitation to the party had been lost so there we were arriving just in time for the last guest to puke on our shoes.
From an early age I knew on some level that I was gay - even if I couldn’t put a word to it. In retrospect I recognize specific moments of awareness that I completely ignored. Growing up in the midwest it just wasn’t part of the plan, so that budding sexual awareness got shut down and didn’t resurface ‘til I was 18 and a college freshman. I wouldn’t accept it for a second ... then I got my first gay magazine. It kicked Playboy’s ass! It was 1988, gay sex was more dangerous than ever, I couldn’t accept being gay. I claimed bisexuality for several more years and was able to hold of on actually having sex until the following spring. I just didn’t have any gay role-models, HELL, I’d never even met anyone openly gay until college. Then the stories of “how it used to be” were passed on to me. I’d missed it all. I had to get out and try something. Anything! So I moved to Boston, and finally New York.
I first started barebacking when I moved to New York City from Boston back in May of 1997. I moved here and started seeing someone and since we were monogamous and both negative we played bare. For the most part, we didn’t really discuss the decision, it came up once, briefly, but for the most part we just went ahead and enjoyed the freedom. Eventually we broke up, so for the first time I was free in NYC, still I couldn’t stand the thought of returning to sex using latex and so I decided that I wouldn’t use condoms any more. In no time the decision evolved into a political stance, a religion of my own making. I would not use a condom. Ever. No matter what!
It seems odd to think of it now, but just six years ago there wasn’t the broad community of barebackers online that we have today. I guess I was one of the trailblazers! (I feel suddenly old.) We didn’t have dozens of websites tailored to our needs, no BarebackCity.com or chat room on AOL. Hot Desert Knights and Dick Wadd and the other bareback video companies were just barely getting off the ground while people talked about making a “bareback porn” as though it were some unachievable pipe dream. Hell, the term “bareback” was hardly even part of our language, it was more commonly called “raw” or just “condom free” sex. Even the concepts of bug-chasing and gift-giving had hardly taken shape. The gay community remained pretty well grounded in safe-sex as a way of life.
There was only one website which started a small upstart but blossomed fast. It became the first and only source online - at least the only one I knew of: Barebackjacks.com. It was free, though is now a pay site and I haven’t been for quite a while. BarebackJacks provided space for personals, party listings, general information, picture gallery and other essentials. It was revolutionary, the only site doing it!
Soon after BarebackJacks was founded another website appeared - or maybe it was there before but had just popped up on my radar. This new site had a darker edge and was tailored more toward bug-chasing and gift-giving. The site, appropriately named - extremesex.com, was filled with stories and personals for givers and chasers and so on. It glorified everything POZ. It encouraged HIV- people to go out and get charged. It applauded those who were out in the world passing the virus on to others with or without consent. It was by far the most taboo site online until it closed or, more likely, was shut down. Though someone, somewhere apparently had the foresight to recognize it for the landmark that it was and saved the code for the entire website and has relaunched it - exactly as it was back then. It hasn’t been updated at all. It’s a site trapped in a time warp... kind of freaky really.
The two sites had something in common though. They both emphasized brotherhood. Closeness. A true connection with no barriers. That elemental bond between two people is what I feel makes bareback so alluring in the first place, and so hard to turn your back on after you’ve experienced it.
Armed with my decision to bareback I created a screen name and profile tailored to barebacking and in no time I hooked up with someone. I went to his place and we got down to it... I had my first bareback hook-up. During a “rest period” we chatted a little and he asked me how long I’d been HIV positive, to which I responded “I’m not.”
He paused for a moment then said, “oh, that might be a problem.”
I wasn’t upset. I didn’t freak out. It’s not as though he’d had any malicious intent, he’d simply assumed I was positive because most barebackers were and frankly, I hadn’t even thought to ask. It was my own fault and I figured what’s done is done. I accepted the fact that I was positive now and I would just get tested in about six months to confirm it. Today we know better, but at that time the prevailing theory was it took around 6 months to incubate, convert and become detectable to any of the available tests.
I hooked with this guy a number of other times over the next few months and eventually I got tested. It came back negative. I was shocked! I’d been running under the assumption I was POZ for 6 months! I’d based my acceptable risk level on that premise! It completely changed my point of view and I decided I’d better start behaving; so while I continued barebacking, I started asking men their status and if he said POZ I politely declined.
Six months later I tested again, still negative.
Barebacking was evolving into a real fetish more and more. There were articles discussing the bareback phenomenon in the Advocate, Out and other gay, as well as mainstream magazines and papers. The articles ranged from those speculating on the cause of this disturbing trend to those who passed it off as an online fantasy that wasn’t really being acted upon - after all who would be so foolish! Some articles were VERY concerned about what this could mean to the spread of HIV, the damage it would cause to how the gay community was perceived. Those outside the bareback community simply couldn’t accept the reality of it. Bareback was still very much an underground movement.
I continued to test negative.
More and more people showed up online talking about bareback and I took a fair amount of flak in the process. A person would read my profile and immediately start firing off Instant Messages -

how stupid can you be?
What the hell’s the matter with you?
I’ve got a gun you can borrow, it’ll be a lot easier.

and other brilliant insights into MY life, but occasionally I had rational chats with people simply asking questions, sincerely interested in my motivations (as far as I could tell), and they forced me to ask those very questions of myself.
Among the Sociologists and Psychopaths, there were other barebackers to chat with as well as hook up with. I learned a lot in the process too, while we exchanged histories, how long have we been barebacking etc. One scenario I heard over and over and always made me uncomfortable came from men who’d always used a condom, were careful to a fault and just slipped up once, now they were HIV+ and played raw... and then there was me. The guy who always rode raw and the tests always came back negative. I was left with an odd conflict of emotions. On one level I felt guilty for having stayed uninfected against all odds, but on the other hand... “Whopeeee!” I read about studies that identified people carrying a “natural immunity,” and wondered if maybe I was one of those lucky few. I had been barebacking exclusively for upwards of 2 years. In those two years, aside from my initial blunder, every online hook up had claimed to be negative, the sex clubs are a different story. I pretty much maintained a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. In all likelihood by my accounting - between Online-liars and the Club - I’d taken at least a few. Still negative though, so I’m doing fine.
I slowly started to loosen my standards about playing with POZ guys. I wasn’t bug-chasing, but I wasn’t doing much to avoid it either. I played with plenty of guys in the next few months who were open and honest about their status - I knew they were POZ and I didn’t say no. Still I came back negative. Eventually I didn’t even give a second thought to status. Again, I wasn’t chasing... my definition of bug-chasing involves actively seeking out POZ men for the express purpose of being infected. Becoming HIV+ was never my goal, however I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get an extra thrill knowing the guy was shooting POZ seed in me. It was exciting because it was taboo, but to my reasoning, the risk was minimal. I still thought I might be naturally immune and even felt a little invulnerable to it.
I finally converted after a little over 3 years of barebacking. I took the news really well, in fact I have a feeling a lot of people were surprised at how well I took it, but let’s be honest - it’s not as though it came as a complete shock. You play with fire long enough, you’re bound to get burned.
Today the attitude toward barebacking is very very different. Barebacking is almost an accepted lifestyle - especially among those already HIV+. There are at least 10 video companies releasing New bareback porn while the other distribution companies figured out the value of their classic pre-condom flicks and their prices have nearly doubled compared to a few years back. There are sites all over the web with more launching every day to offer the resources that once relied solely on BarebackJacks server in Arizona.
It’s remarkable how the broad condemnation of barebacking has faded. There are of course people voicing concerns about cross infection, strains combining and mutating, creating new resistances and so on - all valid concerns well worth examining, but it’s pretty clear to most folks that POZ men engaging in bareback sex together won’t bring about Armageddon.
Why the change in attitude? Was it just a matter of time? Not likely. It comes down to just one development - the meds. Today being POZ doesn’t carry the instant death sentence it once did. In fact it’s a completely manageable condition. “I’m living with HIV,” used to be said with defiance, but now - it’s just a fact. Here in New York, and especially in areas like Chelsea, that guy on the street turning heads is far more likely to be POZ than not. We tend to eat better, we’re on steroids and testosterone therapy, and we have really great sex without any hang-ups, which believe me makes a huge difference in your mood.
Bug-chasing and Gift-giving, while still a fringe group is at least acknowledged as existing... however the Bug-chasers are having a harder time realizing their goal now that medications are reducing Viral Loads to levels which make transmission extremely unlikely. I’ve talked to guys online who are chasing and have taken many loads from different POZ guys and are baffled as to why they’re still negative - and it comes down to reduced Viral Loads in their gifters.
In the long run, I think I made the right choice.

Every day we’re presented choices... Coco Puffs or Fruit Loops? Grape jelly or marmalade? What’s your favorite color of M&M? I made my decision and I feel I’m better for it. I made the right choice for me your choice may offer you rewards as well. This is what I did and I’m not advocating that a person choose any path other than the right one.

These are my experiences...
....get your own!